I’m behind you. I am.
I didn’t quite have the SHOCK all of you had. Our day to day life didn’t change. My kids didn’t blink about school or birthday parties being canceled. No big dramatic talks here. We have been living the hunkered life since June 18th. We have had an immune-suppressed child that long. Social distancing was our norm. Homeschooling, also, the norm. If anything I had more support than ever with homeschooling.
But I’m catching up to you all. I had my WHAT moment.
I had to pull the covers over my head for a good cry Saturday. I had this feeling sweep over me.
Unfortunately, I know it well.
The feeling that the world is a cruel and unloving place. That life is a game of mere survival. That the game is rigged. That the emotional roller coaster of life was too dangerous to ride and how do you even get off the ride?!
It was India that was the last straw. I’ve always had a great affinity for India, the culture, the people, etc. Hearing that cases have hit the Indian slums where the population density is 30x of NYC brought me to my knees. Literally. Alone in my room, I sank to my knees and cried. All of those children. All of those families with no fighting chance. How I was just born in the right place at the right time. How life is a lottery. How the poor will bear the burden. How is this fair?!
And then I just spiraled from there.
What will the world be like for my children? Will culture rebound? Will a handshake ever resurface in our culture? It got dark. I wrote down all my predictions. I will share it later. But I sat with my thoughts.
I got quiet.
You know how rare that is!
Not my thing usually.
But I then I remembered. When feeling like all is lost. Look for humanity. I started “looking for the helpers” (Mr. Rogers). And lucky for me, I didn’t have to look very far.
There is one.
I love this picture of Steve wearing his Nightvision monocule that he built a head strap for to drive the boat at night. Obviously, lol.
And like in this picture, he is every day a superhero. Thinking about ways to HELP and this time society at large.
I am so proud of my husband who spends his days working with the military, public and private sectors in helping design, manufacture and distributes filters for face masks. I sit in awe listening to him lead zoom calls with some of the biggest industry titans and generals of our military. I am so proud of him, but expect nothing less. He has a skill to give to this world and he should. And he’s not alone. I listen on our long drives back and forth to the city for Jacob’s treatment how the portfolio companies at Lux Capital do not just talk about their losses, but how they will GIVE. How 3-D printing companies are scraping all their projects to make ventilator parts. It was just enough “light” to get me out of bed.
And I remembered. I’ve been here before. I’ve felt helpless before. I had a son and husband given a grave diagnosis and could not control that my life would drastically change. That I would possibly lose them. That I would have to sacrifice my business, my friendships, everything and still not be guaranteed anything in return. How tomorrow was not promised.
And then I remembered how I got through it, how I took control of what I could. I got to control how Jacob’s time would be spent in the hospital. I got to control how isolated I would become. I decided to reach out to others. And I HELPED when I could either through this blog, teaching someone to read in the hospital, etc.
Now I am aware that I have no ability to help India and trust me this breaks my heart. I also do not have Steve’s skill sets. I cannot solve medical and manufacturing issues across the world, but I can take control of my immediate surroundings and make them better. I have a skill. You have a skill. We all have a skill to give and that is the only way for me to get out from under the covers.
So I woke up on Sunday and GOT TO WORK. I can’t wait to share my work, but the day also included checking in on people hunkered alone. Showing up outside people’s houses playing DON’T STOP BELIEVING and banging pots and pans. The smiles made my day.
And I began plotting….for the new future and placed in this plan where I will HELP where I can. Where I won’t just look for the helpers, but become one. Where I will use my skills to help. It will be a rough road. It will be a road in the yellow wood that for sure wasn’t seen, but I’ve survived them before. So I’m going to go ahead and dust off and clear the path, because that is my skill, to build a community that allows others to be their best selves, to learn to grow or to just find a way out of the woods with a friend.
I went to work.
I’m creating MICRO communities. MORE COMING!
Challenge- what will your gift be? How will you help create the NEW future?