You may have heard of Buddha Bar, but have you been to Buddha Bath?

It’s super exclusive and hits its peak at about 4:30am. It is so exclusive that it only allows one person in at a time. Good luck getting in. I wouldn’t suggest a headband.

It serves exclusive narcotics while soaking its patron in a bath while playing music. It’s very new-age.

Jacob woke up in pain, but had a new “side,” an allergic reaction. This was a first but when I called the hospital we got the usual…this can be “e” word. He looked just like he came out of surgery puffy. So puffy it was hard to see his eyes. He looked exactly like a Buddha. 

He wanted to go to the hospital again. He was screaming “make it stop,” but we knew what the hospital would mean 2 hours, more narcotics, vomit and add an anxiety attack for Jacob because he will have to be accessed. We knew that there was nothing more the hospital would do than give him more than the amount of the narcotic we are allowed to give him at home, so we got creative, we opened a night club.

I drew a hot bath, dimmed the lights, played some Beatles and I poured small amounts of water down his back. He got quiet, he stared and then all of a sudden was chatting with us. Talking about how he wants to go to New Jersey and see the “lollipop sucker.” He is referring to the old fashioned bank tube system. We are, of course, will be doing this immediately on Saturday morning. I love how old technologies feel novel to our youth. Like Benno begging for a record player, which he insisted he “needed.”

So I’ve gotten my nightlife back. I have a regular gig. Take that soccer mom who is asleep by 8:30PM. My night starts at 4am and includes drugs, waterfalls, and the Beatles.  It’s pretty off the hook.