This is very much still on!

Thinking about next year a lot. Thinking about living my best life. 

Scratch that.

I was living my best life, now I’m going to lead OUR best life.

There’s a difference there. 

I’ve been planning my 40th birthday. I’ve been planning it for over a year now, way before living in the “future now.” Before Steve got sick. Way before Jacob got sick.

It is SO planned (but yet unplanned as there is nothing more authentic than what I’ve planned).

I had written the below last March. my plan was to send this in an email in August. I even created an attached PDF. You know that most learners need visuals.

And I write this to ALL of you. ANYONE READING. You are ALL invited. Stranger too. 

Original email below…

Dear XXXX,

A year ago, I fulfilled a dream of mine. I went to burning man to see the installation art. I went for the art, but left with much more. I now return for the community, which I hope includes you. 

A bit of my story. 

Going to burning man for the first time, I had no idea what I was walking into and also how badly I needed it. With everything going on in the world and spending my life dedicated to our youth, I was spinning by the destructive policies and actions of the adults running the world. I was unsure if humanity was innately good. It was hard to run a school discussing quinoa pasta with type A parents when you saw the bigger picture burn. I was miserable. I was unsure if I could make impact with my expertise and passion. I had just left what I thought was my dream job. I was lost. 

What I got? Hope!  I left burning man with an optimistic view of what can be. I saw humankind at its best. Yes… Many of them are at their best on drugs dancing with wild abandonment, but that feels trivial to the bigger message of the event. It’s bigger than drugs and music. You will be transformed or at least in bewilderment that something like this exists. It will shake your very foundation.

For my 40th birthday and our 10th wedding anniversary we will return to burning man. We are inviting you to join. This is the gift I wish to share with my friends. I wish for everyone on Earth to experience something this transformative.  If you are looking for something, even if you can’t name it, consider this a sign and join us. 

Please know that we expect 90% of you to pass on this opportunity. And you have good reason to.  We recognize it may not be the best choice given the precious little time we have for vacation nor how you would want to spend that time. It is not a beach vacation at a luxury resort (by any means) nor will you make memories with your children. You may come out a better father or mother though. However, if there is a smidge of curiosity, I promise you this- you won’t regret it. It is that incredible. 

Let me be super clear that this is not a party but a personal journey. While Steve and I will make an itinerary with touching base points With a wedding Attend, There is no expectation to join anything (including the wedding!). The ultimate birthday gift to me, is you doing you! There is no such thing as time at burning man nor a place to be. Where you are is where you should be. 

As the saying goes: “the playa provides” by the end each of you will not only understand that phrase but speak to it personally.

This is a RSVP and commit type of event. That is why we are giving you a years notice. We need to know if you would like to join by September 1st to get your RV spot. You will share an RV, but have your own room (up to two in a room). 

Email Steve regarding questions about financial commitment ( 

For those brave enough to adventure with us, please know that I have loads of fun events to get you excited and ready over the next year. 

Attached is a infographic I made to address FAQs and talk event details leading up to the burn 

Let me be clear again… By no means should anyone come to this for me or for Steve. We know you love us and wouldn’t want to miss my bday and our vow renewal, but we don’t want you to come unless this is what you want to do. Do you!

Much love,


*This is very much STILL on!

Join the Conversation


  1. Abby, I loved reading all about your 40th plans to go to Burning Man, again. I first learned about Burning Man when my dear friend, the artist Yana Lande went with her friend the artist Alexandr Milov. She helped Alexandr setup his famed sculpture “Love” which I thought of and thought of you when I read your post. It looks like it will be a spectacular adventure for you, Steve and those who make that life changing journey with you. Happy 39th. Sending love 💕 and good vibes and many prayers for all.

      1. I wish I could! Just not able to do that type of trip because of some physical limitations but it sounds incredible and I know you will all have an incredible time!

  2. Happy 39th Birthday Abby. You’ve lived more lives than most in your 39 years. I continue to be in awe of you. The burning man party sounds so out of my Five Star Hippy Chick comfort zone. At 56, maybe that would be the point. ❤️🎉🍾

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