One condition. Only one.

It has to be warm. Not just warm, hot. Summer all year. 

That is a non-negotiable. This is my only request. 

I won’t be picky. I won’t be mad. You don’t have to put any thought beyond the weather. I won’t really be there so you can’t let me down.  I’m not expecting a Four Seasons or anything. I doubt I will even know where I am.

Now  I understand this requires my family to move. New York does not fit this one request.  I’m 99% sure my mother-in-law and mother will be joining me already. They will be committed around the same time or moments later. So some of us have already moved, but yes this will require the rest to move. Steve will just have to commute. It’s okay. I most likely will not even be aware when he isn’t there. I won’t know he is gone. I won’t know much.

While I informed my sister-in-law of this one condition as I’m assuming this decision will be a family one, I’m a bit nervous that her indecisiveness may hinder proper execution.  Many of you may need to step in. So let me be crystal clear. 

It needs to be warm.

Nope. Hot. 

What’s odd is that I can see it so clearly. It’s definitely a role I’ve played before. Maybe in some past life? It just comes too naturally in my mind. And I nail it. Perfect fit. I can play crazy well.

I see myself in fields, just wondering. Wondering all day. I’m not sad. I’m in my own world and it’s not hard to imagine because it existed before. I’m not playing make-believe, I’m just living in the past. My mind in the past. I don’t have to think that far back, only about 7 months. I just live there. I live 7 months ago in mental loops.

I know nothing of impeachment trials. I know nothing beyond May 2019.

While I leave the exact place you put me up to you, I do see some art therapy class where I paint and then properly eat the paint afterward. There is a pool where I lay all day long staring at the sky.  I see loads of drugs. Not the hospital kind, but the good kind. There are animals. Chicks and ants to stare at all day and my hair is never dried, just frizzy curls everywhere. There ideally is a frozen yogurt machine (but I can get by without it). 

Remember only ONE condition.

I’m assuming I’ll have to see doctors. I’m assuming that will be part of it, but I will just sit and tell them about my day. My new life in my head. The life in the past. It’s nice to share nice times. This will not be a chore. 

So just remember that it needs to be hot. I refuse to be the crazy woman barefoot in snow. That is not a good look at all. That does not match the image in my head. My flowy dresses will not vibe there at all. 

And remember before you get nervous about sending me away to a loony bin, that this has been Steve Brody approved. He said if these next scans are not what we were hoping for, he understands if I go legitimately crazy. So I’m just being prepared. 

And like my funeral, I would like to have a hand in planning it. 

So please don’t forget, summer weather only.