Over here the same narrative is on repeat.
Is it the same for you? Do you have the same storyline running in your life?
It is literally the same thing over here. The circumstances differ, the years change, but regardless the same ending. And every time it is a surprise?! I mean…come on, Abby, come on.
For some crazy reason, I never see the signs or is ignore them. Even when people who love you warn you. You just brush them off. “He would never do that.”
I feel stupid being here again. I want to yell at Little Red Riding Hood. “It’s a WOLF you stupid girl! Run.” Because one thing I’ve learned the hard way is you can’t blame the wolf. No the wolf is not of blame. It is his nature. He is not ever culpable. No instead, we will blame the cute little girl who puts her head in his mouth. She will get the blame. She is the stupid one. She should know better. Even though the wolf is literally in her grandma’s clothes. “It’s safe…it’s family.”
Stupid girl.
And I’m sick of it.
For my entire life, I’ve lived my life in service. I can say that with full conviction. I have never been motivated by money and knew my purpose young in life, to work with children and protect them. Any person who has asked for my help I’ve given it. There is not a child that I would not protect with my life and now add a lot of children with cancer on that list. I’ve worked every day without pay for years believing in a better world and devoting my life to helping people find their way through the power of inquiry/ education. And recently that includes adults:) A newer chapter in my education work, but I hope to help adults continue to get access to education and jobs.
And in this work, every man I have ever worked (in a leadership capacity) has found a way to put a knife in my back. Always taking my kindness for granted and manipulating that kindness. On the other hand, all women in leadership I’ve worked with (in education) have only thrived in my kindness. Often going off and doing amazing things after.
Well, today is a day I turn the page. I’m not allowing men do this again.
I’m doing it for all women out there. All of us who take the caretaker role. The ones who step aside and take the blame. We are the ones that think of others before themselves. But men…they only have one agenda their fucking selves and it is their ruin. They revel in their wins (that was all them) and lay all failure at other people’s feet. But they are so caught up in themselves they always implode.
truly…at least with the men I’ve worked with.
All of these men have been so inferior and lacking. Truly men who can’t get out of their own way nor have a way (like lost boys). All so sold on their own prowess and a need to prove something.
And oddly they all share one trait. They are all storytellers at the core. Interesting right? All story tellers and really good at it. That’s how they get on your team, you hire them. However, their best audience is themselves not the consumer. Nope. They will never deliver there. They will make up stories as to why they didn’t deliver, it is everyone else who did not. They tell themselves stories of only their brilliance, but not of the stupidity or lack of any experience / results to prove those words. They pump themselves up on their own “wisdom” but no facts. Or rather they choose the facts. They don’t even hear their own hypocrisy as they laugh at an idea they thought was brilliant a week ago. And both ideas were theirs. Their memory so fleeting. Only serving their needs, their storyline. Their ego.
Not that women don’t tell themselves stories. That is a trait of all of humans, but women’s stories are usually sadly of self-doubt or at least more grounded in reality as we are always thinking of others so there is a sense of balance. Oh and we do this other crazy idea, we listen. Women listen.
Crazy I tell ya.
Man has true folly.
And the women are sick of having to put up with it.
So that changes today. A new narrative and this one comes with a knife.
The knife that I pulled out, I cleaned it, sharpened it, and I’ve decided to keep it. It is already coming in handy.