Yesterday we rode. We rode with the wind at our backs and adventured. No plans just the road. “Advenutring” as I call it, has always been my favorite drug of choice. I discovered this drug at 19 years old when on Semester At Sea.
Always an overthinker. I would be worried about the next test or paper in school. Going in thinking I would fail, even though I was a straight A student. Or even overthinking friendships. Always super sensitive I would overthink what people thought of me. Full of anxiety about not being good enough or liked enough.
But yet, drop me off in a country where I don’t speak a word of their language nor know my way around, I was full of confidence and felt right at home. Being lost feels like being found. Truly. I feel my best when lost.
So strange. I know.
But it is addicting.
It still is. I can’t help smiling thinking about some of my favorite adventures. Ones where you may end up in a field in the middle of no where in Russia making friends for a lifetime. Or randomly taking over a karaoke bar in China and become the Spice Girls for a night. So many memories that were never supposed to happen. Never did I go into the night thinking I should travel to a rave in Russia with no idea how I will get home. Nope! That would be a terrible and dangerous plan.
That’s the best part about adventuring! You are never off plan. There were no expectations to miss or exceed. Adventuring has no agenda.
Just the ride.
Just the ride.
So yesterday, we got on a bike and we went adventuring.
And as I sat there holding on to the back of the moped, I thought a lot about the “ride” of life. How in a million years I could never have predicted this ride. Even “knowns” like we will live in New York City. Or “knowns” that had a lot of evidence to claim as fact like “Benno isn’t a beach person” (and here he is surfing!), have all been disproven. Knowns like “my child will go to school like I did.” POOF. GONE. The things I thought I could plan, all gone.
So I guess it all is a ride.
I don’t need to adventure far, it’s right here. Life. Everyday. A ride.
And I started to laugh in my head, GET ME OFF THIS RIDE! Can I get my money back? Is there a more calm ride option? Kiddie rides? Lazy river sounds my speed! But I took a second and thought about the entire decade. I took the birds eye view and I can’t believe I’m going to say this…I really can’t.
Maybe the ride is not that bad.
I’m not saying I wished for the ride that includes two rare cancers and incredible stress and pain, but if I really zoom out, I see all the gifts of this ride.
Or better said, this ride has a track. It seems so arbitrary but maye it has a path. Not mine to decide, that is for sure. But maybe every turn is a destination to be lost in. To then be found.
Here is one of the places we decided to get lost in yesterday.
So for this decade, I’m going to trust the ride. Less questioning. Less planning (that is for sure in these COVID times), just riding with a belief that there is a track under this ride. That there is a purpose that maybe we just can’t see.
Trust the ride.