Things are better.
Its true naming something does help. Knowing that I wasn’t going crazy was helpful and thank you Nightwing for helping with resources, articles, and even your own stories of the “anniversary effect.”.
The weight is much lighter.
And I wrote this last night to remember its truth. That sometimes you have to relinquish control. That the world is bigger than you, a speck.
The movie is playing again.
But this time I’m watching while I dance.
From the balcony I see her.
I see her walk through the day
She’s just a speck.
Just blowing.
Just one of many.
Of the infinite.
In no control
But yet she seems to think so
She dances
She dances well
But little does she know that she is just one
A speck
Blowing
Just one of many
Of the infinite
You want to touch her
But you can’t
She is too busy dancing
But you see the whole floor
You see that she
A speck
Blowing
Just one of many
Of the infinite
The specks become indistinguishable
Her plight just as random as the others
Her moves just as spontaneous
But yet aren’t they planned?
You try and look at
the speck
Blowing
Just one of many
Of the infinite
But it hurts the eyes and ears
No patterns to be seen
No rhyme to be heard
Its dizzying chaos
As you look at
The speck
Blowing
Just one of many
Of the infinite
So look again
At all the specks
And all of a sudden you see a swirl
Birds synchronizing in flight
It’s beautiful, a stary sky in motion
The specks
Blowing
All one
Of the infinite