I have a few weird rules to keep me sane. Shocked I’m sure. Abby? Weird rules?! lol.

I’ve written about a few. Like how in our vows Steve promised to call Time Warner Cable. How when I watch the Handmaid’s Tale I fall into a week of depression and spiral into monitoring all women’s rights policies. Had to stop that. Rule: No Handmaid’s Tale.

Another rule is no Murry Povich, Jerry Springer, etc. This rule was actually made by Steve 8 years ago.

When on maternity leave after having Benno, it was the first time watching daytime television. I’m not sure if the hormones played a large role, but every night when Steve would return, he would find me in tears. As a new mother, I was so overwhelmed by this thing that came with zero directions, that watching the single moms (with multiple children) on these shows was enough to cause me to cry for hours.

Yes. Jerry Springer made me cry. As they flung each other’s weaves around stage, I would just start crying. I just kept wondering HOW they were doing this without the resources I had. And how am I struggling with the resources I had?!

I’m not saying its normal. This is just what happened.

Steve banned daytime talk shows. It was a good call.

And here I am today thinking about all those women. Women with multiple children hunkered ALONE. Or worse the men and women hunkered in abusive relationships with children caught in the middle. I think of this as I hide. 

WAIT! Do you hide?! Is this a normal healthy thing to do?

I hide from my children for a good 30 minutes a day. It’s pretty remarkable they haven’t found me yet. I hear them call for me, but I monitor their screams. I know their distress calls, so, for the most part, I just ignore them and they give up. Not great parenting, I know, but at least there is another body in the house. 

So if you aren’t guessing it…I watched a daytime talk show. I’m hiding extra today. I can’t blame the pregnancy hormones. I cried like a baby during the DNA test. I kept thinking about where that mother is now. How this woman was too young to even be a mother and now does it alone without a village. 

So I’m hiding double time today. Once for me and once for her.