Quick Question: How would you live if the rules that govern the universe don’t seem to apply to you?
Meaning if basic factoids that have numbers, research, behind them don’t apply to you. What if you were a statistical anomaly?
What would you do?
I think about that a lot as that is really the only rational summation to be made of my life. The numbers are the individual odds of getting their particular cancers.
As one doctor told us “It’s crazy. Lightening has stricken twice,” but yet here we are.
So what would you do?
When science and the odds seem to be as random as a coin toss. 50/50 every time.
Do you throw out rationality? Do you turn on research? Do you start flapping your wings? Maybe you can fly?!
It could sound freeing. In some ways it is. I have a new perspective. It’s like being a child and looking at the world with new eyes. Everything seems possible.
But everything is a loaded word. How can a human make sense and anticipate EVERYthing.
What makes us human is our ability to create meaning. We are not passive observers but we synthesizers (and sadly judgers). We like patterns because they bring order to chaos. We like to know our place. Predictions ground our thinking. We can point to things. We can feel confident in our decisions. Look these doctors agree! Look 55% of Americans agree!
So that is what I am doing, but not based on other truths. I am building my own truths. My own stats. My own patterns based on what I know to be true, which turns out to be an anomaly in your truth.
And want to talk about something freaky. Three years ago I was walking down the street and drawn into a jewelry shop that had been there forever, but never walked into. As you know I am a devoted street jewelry fan, fine jewelry is not where you can find me. But this jewelry store had a small case with Hebrew words. I pointed to one and asked what it meant. I can read Hebrew like every bat mitzvah girl but have no clue what I am reading. Don’t get me started on how ridiculous that is. But, I asked the shop keeper what EMIT meant.
He said TRUTH.
And after Jacob’s bad scans I took off all my flair. Everything. Took off every piece of jewelry I once found meaning and comfort, except this one piece. Just couldn’t take it off.
Now I understand why.
It is supposed to hang close to my heart.
It is my journey.