We stole away again. We stole away to the boat. 

Jacob has three weeks off of treatment to rebuild between rounds and he is doing just that. He is rebuilding with pizza, turkey, literally anything he can get his hands on goes directly into his mouth. We have weight to gain back here!

This time we stole away to Boca. It feels just our scene. Us and the oldies. Perfect. 

But this child is anything but old or sick. Look at him go!

And again everyone is playing pretend nicely. Everyone is pretending that this is a Christmas break or an ordinary school holiday. Not a holiday from the hospital. No cancer to speak of, except once. Jacob asked when he will be getting immunotherapy again. I told him three weeks. His reaction “Wow! That is a long time. Yippee!” And that was it. No protesting that he has to do it again. Just a simple procedural question and off to play. 

It’s all so odd. 

This is the same child who can protest taking a bath with a three-hour tantrum. Yet he walks straight into the hospital every day knowing he will be hooked up to a therapy that will cause writhing pain. And does this?!

So strange. Hard to understand and maybe that is because we just choose to understand things in our own ways. Maybe understanding requires a new mindset.  A mind like Jacobs.

Speaking of understandings! I came upon these quotes in my newest book that I want to record:

“The beginning of knowledge is the discovery that we don’t understand” (Frank Herbert, writer). We don’t have the answers. There is so much that we don’t know, especially about cancer, but yet doctors mock new ideas even with a lack of understanding of the problem. This concerns me. I just wish we could all acknowledge that we don’t know.

Which brings me to the second quote to remember. 

“All truth passes through three phases: first, it is ridiculed; second, it is violently opposed; third, it is accepted as self-evident.” (Arthur Schopenhauer, 19th-century German philosopher).

And that is where I am in my search for the WHY and this kid is living proof. He is self-evident.