I’m taking a Mulligan.
Maybe you should too? We could do this together!
I don’t know why we don’t do this more often. Why don’t we put our hands in the air and yell “DO OVER!” Why is doing something over again a sign of failure? It should instead be celebrated. Look at me! I need to learn more/ I didn’t do my best work/ I need more time, I’m going to try this again! Why are things always done/settled/finished? When it doesn’t feel ever done/ settled/ finished? We should do more things over.
So I’m taking a mulligan for our family.
An entire year mulligan. We’re going to do it all over. This year doesn’t start until Jacob is well, but we are doing it over.
Like in golf.
While I despise golf, I like this concept. Those closest to me know that I would never date/marry anyone who plays golf. I have an entire sexist view of the sport that is based on pure experience watching my friends’ husbands. You men go golf and leave your wife home with the kids. And don’t even say for a second it’s like your spouse taking a soul cycle class. I heard someone say that once at a dinner party and it took my everything not to hit the man. Does a soul cycle take an entire day? Does it include beers, chatting with friends and don’t forget lunch?! Nope. Not the same.
So golf, we agree on this one concept ONLY. The idea that sometimes you need to do things over and that you can do this based on your own judgment.
And it’s not like we made a bad shot and didn’t want to bother trying to find the ball in the woods. It’s not an act of laziness. We aren’t trying to cheat. Our shot rather went something like this: A bird came, shit on our heads, then grabbed our golf ball, ate it and flew away. We never stood a chance. Couldn’t swing even if we wanted to. No shot to be had.
So I’m taking a mulligan for our family. A whole year one. A whole year of missed shots. A do over.
As the first person I’ve known to embrace such a concept outside of the realm of golf, I do believe it needs a bit of an explanation.
What does that entail you ask?
For Steve that will entail being our captain again. More time at sea. Less time in hospitals and to be present for more than just a night. To put down his sword and rejoin life.
For Benno that will entail having his mom more present and not being the kid whose brother has cancer in school.
For Jacob it will include SCHOOL with his friends and being cancer free. Playing instead of laying.
When explaining it to my children, I asked if they wanted to stay 6 and 8. But no deal they refuse to not age.
However, I’m going to do just that. I will not be turning 40. I’m turning 39 AGAIN. And don’t for a second even try to wish me a 40th birthday. I will look at you like your crazy because I’m turning 39. Have you gone insane? And no it’s not our 10 year anniversary coming up, it will be nine AGAIN.
This was NOT how I planned to usher in this decade. I had plans and I refuse to let cancer take that away too. And these plans include ALL of you so I need some time. I need some time to make this special.
As simple as that.