Five months, six days

I knew time was moving. I logically must have known that.

There were signs.  Holidays came and went. The weather changed, but yet time felt stopped. There have been no weekends, no vacations to look forward to, no dinner plans. No markers of time. No beginnings and endings. Just tics and some tocs.

I knew in the back of my mind I was missing things. Especially this month. I don’t know why but literally half of you were born this month. Lots of Scorpios are in my life. I know I’m missing wishing you a happy birthday. So please take this,

Happy birthday my loves. Please know I miss you every day not just your birthdays.

But yesterday I was really taken aback when seeing my closest friend Lauren. Seeing that I missed an entire pregnancy. How is that possible? How much time has passed? What else has happened? What else have I missed?!

I pulled out a calendar and counted. It has been five months and 6 days as cancer mom.

Part of me is in awe, that is a good chunk of time, but the other part of me is like how has it possible that it has been so little of time?! Each day feels like a year. Each scan feels like a century, but yet I recall one day saying I couldn’t make it to the next day. There was a real moment there where I wondered if I was going to make it to see the next day.

But here I am. I am for five months and six days.

That’s something. 

I know I have a long road ahead, but this is still a milestone. A milestone that even things you think you can’t do, you can. You can do them five months and six times even.

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