So the flair thing is real. 

I mean it’s always been real, but now its at a whole new level. 

I really like to look at it. I like looking at your flair.

And I agree with Stan that Jennifer has too little. 

Do you want to be the bare minimum? I for sure don’t. I like your style Brian. 

And I like the trail of clues that flair brings. I like learning about you as I sit in the room of waiting. Flair can tell you so much. Religious flair is usually big and telling, but I’m leaning towards another clue lately. 

Tattoos.

This is new. I never understand this wish of bodily disfigurement. Never

WHY?!!!!

Why would you want something permanent on your body? Why when there are street fairs after street of flairs of things to try? The world is full of trinkets and hair colors. Why would you want to live with one thing? It felt stupid and short-sighted.

But maybe it was me who was shortsighted or didn’t have enough life experience to understand. I didn’t understand that certain feelings and experiences are permanent. That no matter what they will be part of you. You can’t even sail away from them. And they will define you. They define how you walk into a room. How you show up.

And I’m obsessed with reading your tattoos. I like to wonder the WHY behind them. Why is this permanent for you?

So I’m definitely getting a tattoo. And in true Abby fashion, I plan on a lot of them. Why have one when you can have four? 

First NIGHTWING on our forearms. Steve and I are both getting this one. We had been waiting until Jacob was in remission, but we need this NOW. First thing we do when we return. We need the reminder that we don’t walk alone, but walk with an army. This is a symbol we are proud to wear. Even after remission, this is our community. These are the people who define me when we walk in a room, even the room of waiting. We never wait alone, we wait with you.

The next one I have planned is a hand tattoo. Look at my doodle below that I made. The loop around the middle finger is a nod to the cancer ribbon and my ability to flick it off whenever I want. FUCK YOU CANCER. You messed with the wrong family. On the back of the “chain”, I’m trying to make it look like jewelry (permanent flair!) it will say “I BEAR WITNESS” as that is what my life is and always will be moving forward. I BEAR WITNESS to all of these children and will not forget them. I will walk for them moving forward. I also can’t hide this tattoo. Every day someone will ask what it means, and every day I will tell the story of cancer and how we survived, but that the fight for others is not over.

“Join our army” I will say as I roll up my sleeve and show Nightwing.

I will be a walking google slideshow! Good teachers always have visuals! These are my permanent lessons, the visuals of my ultimate lesson plan.

I plan to get MTG on my body somewhere. Not just because it is the name of my business, but because that is what life is about MINDING GAPS. If we all were all aware the problems and worked to fix them in our small way…poof all big ones gone.

AND I plan on getting something about the sea and sailing. That is going to happen, but not until we sail again. That one will be last. 

So I’m going from who the fuck would want a tattoo to wanting four tattoos. Pretty bold change in just 4 months.

I’m branding myself with my story. I will wear who I am inside and now outside wherever I go.