The entire scan process is a sadistic exercise of hell.
There has been little innovation here. The MRI is the most recent innovation and that is from 1980!! The measurement tools are outdated, clunky, and some even dangerous (can cause cancer themselves!)
! Isn’t medicine only as good as its tools for measuring success?! I could go on and on about this. But it doesn’t matter. It isn’t changing anytime soon for various reason.
Need to accept. Need to relinquish control.
Scans…our new normal…scans. But there is nothing normal about this experience. It feels out of body. Everyone is on edge.
And of course, most of the experience happens in…you guessed it… THE ROOM OF WAITING. If the room of waiting couldn’t get worse, now we add scan anxiety to it. Now we have to starve a five-year-old while waiting in the room of waiting as the adults are on edge. This is a bad deal. Everyone loses.
I feel like scans should be the secret word from pee wee’s playhouse. You remember what to do when someone says the secret word right? REMEMBER HERE.
That is the exact scream that feels appropriate. A creepy, fucked up, I’m living in some nightmare world with Pee Wee Herman in it type of scream. Pee Wee Herman is gives me nightmares. That is someone who should not be around kids! Anything with him is a scary place.
So Let’s practice…
Goodbye now. I’m trying not to lose my cool, AHHHHH!
God, please get me out of this playhouse.
And no we don’t have results. They will trickle in…but I promise you will be the first to know.