Last night I hung with close friends. Some were close friends I had never met before.
But they had met me.
They had read all of me.
This was new… I don’t go out. I don’t “see” people. I only go where I know I need to be for Jacob. And last night that meant going to the Chabad and baking challah. And when I showed there were total strangers introducing themselves to me and telling me about my life. They knew that I have no hair. Knew that my husband can’t zip his fly. Knew my strange quirks. Knew Benno, the ants, and Jacob.
I think I’m supposed to feel weirded out. I definitely should feel embarrassed (they must think I’m CRAZY…that is fair), but oddly I didn’t feel any of those emotions. It felt as natural as can be. I felt a crazy connection to all of them.
These women are my friends. How can they not be? Here they are. Isn’t the definition of a friend is someone who is there? Well…check! Friends they are.
For a minute I got insecure. They must think I’m insane, but then I realized that there is nothing wrong with that. Who isn’t a bit insane and who doesn’t love a good crazy friend. I love people who are their true selves, and yes that may be being a bit crazy. Crazy friends make life fun. So ladies- I’ll be your crazy friend! Challenge accepted:)
And these new friends don’t fall into the acquaintance label. No. These are besties. These women are INCREIBLE! Seriously each one was more impressive than the next. And they came to bake challah for my son. They left their own families on a Thursday night to make a mitzvah for Jacob. These are saints. I am beyond honored to be your friend.
If anything the only negative emotion I felt was guilt.
You all did all the leg work! You took the time to develop this friendship. You came to my time. You came to me. This felt one-sided. I have some catching up to do. So be prepared… I hope it was okay that I asked you a lot of questions and I hugged you all. I want to know about you too. I want to know everything.
Hey- do you have a blog?
So last night my community got better and stronger. I have saints on my side. I have angels. Jacob has guardian angels.
Maybe I’m on to something…
Maybe we all need a blog. A real playbook of who you are. Not insta stories of your best life. That doesn’t breed connection. If anything it breeds jealousy and depression. You just “scroll” through the dinner parties, the beach shots, the holiday photos of others and it feels empty. Everyone sees your “selfie” self. That isn’t real. True friendship can’t be built like that. Friendship is built on throwing up your crazy flag and showing up.
Look at everyone showing up!
So thank you new friends. Thank you.
And you should know that your prayers are working. Jacob SPOKE this morning and ATE! And I look forward to watching him eat some challah made from the strongest women on the planet!