Steve doesn’t know squat either

Turns out I’m not the only one who doesn’t know “squat.” Turns out Steve doesn’t know squat too. A different deficit in life skills, but deficits none the less.

It is always “ABBY!”

In this house “ABBY!”

I was supposed to “sleep in” the other day and every two minutes. “ABBY!”  The questions are painful. Like really painful. Worse than Bachelor in Paradise as he is frustrated and annoyed so the questions have a “tone” to it. Oh I get it. I do this “getting Benno off to school” dance most days. Welcome to my world.

But nope. Having him do it is just having me do it slower because now I need to explain things and then most likely do them. This sleeping in thing is not real. It is a farse. A trick. 

And it begins… 

“Abby where are Benno’s shirts?”

You know what my response is: “They are in the fridge.” 

I mean come on!!! 

Where do you think they are?! 

It saddens me. Nope! It infuriates me that you do not know where our child’s shirts are. But seriously aren’t you this savant of sorts? Can’t you build anything you imagine? Can you try and imagine where shirts would reside?

I would recommend the dresser being a good place to start.

So while I don’t know squat turns out my counterpart is also without some life skills. Or rather feels that some life skills are not worthy of his time or efforts. 

I know he has the ability to problem-solve this, but yet is so overcome with frustration, can’t be bothered. It’s like how he can’t zip his fly.

His fly is always open.

Always.

How can someone as meticulous as Steve Brody not be able to complete this simple task? He can build a car from scratch, he can think through complex problems like broken engines to find the one “nut” that was loose, but yet…can’t zip his fly. Oh! And add finding shirts to that list.

But yet this is what the majority of life is. A bunch of zipping your fly. This will be required multiple times a day.  A lot of mundane. A lot of “waiting.” And yet no one talks about that. No we talk about “dreaming big!” We don’t prepare our kids for the 99% reality, picking up the groceries, pumping gas, laundry, finding things, etc.

So we all have a little bit of “growing up” to do over here. I’m doing better. I fixed the internet AGAIN. This time a device died and I had to figure out a new power source. I had to trace wires and find extension cords, but I did it. I didn’t outsource this task to the “man.”

Well…this is a two way street buddy. As we hunker, we hunker together and everyone is accountable for solving EVERY problem that they meet. Including zippers. 

Just think…one zip at a time.

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