Day 10

Day 10 and here we are.

But here we are. Hunkering away. Everyone is on their devices coping. Steve working, Benno designing homes in a new app that lets him interior design. He has a “flair” for it. Jacob is watching battles on the ipad, while his Imaginenext museum grows by the minute.

And I write.

I record this anomaly. Another day against the odds. 

But my mind is on last night when I realized that Steve and I spend most of our nights together in silence. This has been going on for weeks. Sitting on the couch together, but not speaking.

We’re not mad at each other. Anything but. We just don’t have much to say. What is there to say? And why spend time speaking when you need to be thinking. Him the HOW and me the WHY.

I’ve been trying to remember what we talked about before. I recall us always talking. Never running out of anything to say. Laughing until 2AM on occasion.

And it dawned on me! 99% of our time before was discussing the future. You know making “plans.”

“Can we do dinner on Wednesday with XXX? I have a work dinner on Tuesday, can you watch the kids?” Or our favorite activity, spending hours on our boat charting apps planning an adventure. 

Now I don’t need to ask any questions. What questions are there to ask? I know where Steve will be tomorrow night. He knows where I will be. We are next to each other. And how can we plan anything when we don’t know what the next hour will look like? So we don’t. We just live in the moment and they tend to be quiet.

So we sit in silence. 

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