That’s what he is.

Or maybe I am on to something and he sees it.

Turns out Steve has started to travel south. He has entered my root village. He has officially entered the zone without sun, but still life flourishes, rich in nutrients and capable of sprouting when our worlds meet. 

He is in my decision tree. Digging around. 

Such an overachiever. 

It’s a bit annoying. He’s even moving some piles of dirt I’ve made, but I do like having a friend down here. Someone to think with.

Not sure if I can take credit for his dig. I would like to. Maybe he was just lonely and wanted to hang. OR maybe he started listening to what I’ve been saying. He has been intrigued by my research, my WHY inquiry. He asks me questions and then BANG.


I see him reading MY books. 

Reading history. Reading all the studies abandoned by popular opinion. Reading people’s personal accounts. Listening to my accounts of personal observations of all the unseen, all the unseen children.  Listening to outside voices. Some not even in oncology. Even entertaining me by watching a youtube channel of a family just like us. SHOUT OUT to this incredible family fighting neuroblastoma. Hello fellow sister and thank you Friend of Nightwing that sent this my way.

I’m not saying I have the answer, but “answer does rhyme with cancer” so I will continue to search for it. I know there is a cure. I am certain.

I am not ready to speak about it. I only have my personal research.  A doctor I am NOT by ANY MEANS. I know the rule. I need years. I need time. It is not my turn to speak, but I do know how to learn. I understand how to learn. I know how to learn. And I am blessed by years of research, even the Egyptians have scrolls that point to tumors and masses. There is much to learn.

And at the same time, the research that I’m so grateful for, frustrates me to no end… how little we have accomplished. 

It is a bit shocking when you think about all that we have. Even this laptop. Wow. Its pretty amazing what we have built as humans.

And what we are creating…

We are on the brink of creating an entire digital universe where we can be creators. We will be able to create our world. We will have cars that drive themselves, and immortality is something people are REALLY talking about.

We are talking about humans being able to live forever. This is a REAL discussion or at least it is in our home, but yet, we can’t figure out how a vestigial aspect of a cell can turn on and rapidly divide? This confuses me.

And because of this lack of understanding we are at war.

A war. Weapon versus weapon. Very little understanding of the disease beyond just awe. It can grow so fast. It can move. It can jump even.

And we just try and kill it. Building bigger arsenals. Chemo, radiation, etc. 

And I keep thinking…has war solved ANYTHING? I mean ever? I really am questioning this. All-day the question shoots me in the face as I watch my boys engage in war.

But seriously if you have an example of a physical arms war solving something, please do share. I am looking for examples. Examples where the issue that was behind it was solved. There has to be one example. My grandfather I think would have said WWII is an example, but I question that greatly. 

And the war rages on in cancer.

And all I want to do is present it a flower. 

I believe that the antidote exists and only exists by the act of creation, not destruction.

Again no doctor here, just a mother, a mother with a gut. 

And I’m learning more that I’m not alone. I think there has been a lot of failure in cancer. The cancer Genome project (TCGA) is a bust. It has been the focus of the answer for cancer since 2006.

Can we rethink people? Can more people come out and say “hey this isn’t working the way we thought.” Let’s reimagine. Maybe we are asking the WRONG questions. 

I am good at asking questions. Can we talk?

Let’s reimagine a world without cancer by understanding cancer from a different lens, but starting with the right questions.

And there Steve is. Freaking overachiever.

Starting to ask more about the WHY.

He is in my tree.

We may as well build a house.

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