Dear Mike Rowe,

Dear Mike Rowe,

Sorry to be formal, but you will always be Mike Rowe. Calling you Mike just feels wrong. You’re Mike Rowe!

And this name of yours has been circulating in my life for a long time and you just came full circle again.

You see you are my Number 1. 

Do you know the game that people play with their significant others where you get to pick 5 people that you are allowed to sleep with and you get a “pass?” I hope you do. Otherwise, I just sound creepy, really creepy.

I swear this is a thing. 

Anyways, Steve and I are dating and we play this game. I can’t recall his list perfectly, but it included Heidi Klum and Blake Lively.

These games are not my thing. I’m not really a sleep around girl. I’m a Minnesotan. However, I played along.  I could only come up with two. 

  1. Mike Rowe
  2. Pierce Bronson

That was it. 

And Steve protested. 

Mike Rowe?! Mike Rowe can’t be one! You could possibly meet him. That is not how the game works. They have to be unattainable.

I hope this isn’t insulting. He wasn’t so off base with his fear as we did have a common acquaintance at the time, but I would not retreat. I stick with Mike Rowe and I put you FIRST. Pierce was an afterthought. I just needed names and the Thomas Crown Affair was hot then.

So basically, you should know, that I think you are the second sexiest man alive. First goes to Steve than you.

You are the shit. Like the coolest

Ha! Shit.

It’s funny because sometimes you were literally sitting in SHIT when filming Dirty Jobs. Didn’t matter to me. I found you attractive then too. I like how you are wickedly smart and a good listener. I think that is one of the secrets in life. The funniest and smartest people are just the people who listen. More people should try it. You learn a lot.

And not only did you listen you genuinely listened to the dairy farmer or the plumber. You never were patronizing, you were (from my impression) the opposite of patronizing, you were in awe. And it’s clear you like to learn new things and meet new people. 

Me too.

For years Steve and I have giggled about my list. How my number one is Mike Rowe. How I don’t understand the game, but I do understand. I just think you’re the shit.

However, let me be clear, I’m not interested in sleeping with you. I have a wonderful husband and two incredible kids, I’m good.  I do not write for this request.

I write to hook up! Wait no! Not that. We need to meet. I promise to honor all personal boundaries! Like coffee meet, but as soon as possible. Your name again circulated.

Today, in Mind the Gap’s branding meeting, we were coming up with a person that embodies our brand. It’s really just an exercise to find our “voice.” And someone threw out your name! It wasn’t me. Sadly it was not me. I actually was surprised and didn’t even recognize your name at first, so out of context. Why would you be part of our brand image?

But then I see this.

WHAT?!! 

I didn’t realize that this whole time we have been fighting the same battle. That you too are concerned with the direction this country is going and see the crisis in higher education.

So random, but not random. Of course, you are. 

I’m learning more and more that the world is not random. You are going to play a role in changing the landscape. We are supposed to meet, not sleep together, but meet and then go change the world. 

So I stick by my choice. You are number 1. 

Now find me.

abrody@mtgnow.org

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