The road ahead

I’ve never run a marathon before and I don’t plan to. What a ridiculous idea! The body was never meant to run 26 miles. Our bodies were meant to escape predators, but only at fast spurts. There was never an evolutionary advantage to sustain a steady beat for 26 miles. You would be dead by mile 2. The whole idea of this stuff is ridiculous. Plain stupid. You all seem stupid to me (no offense).

I just never understood this bucket list item. 

I remember when Dana ran the marathon. I was anti the whole way through, but I cheered with a sign attached to a yardstick with a donut on it. It was for some reason important to her. Run Dana run! Run for that donut. She might as well get a treat at the end of these yards right? 

And I remember her collapse right across the finish line. Of course, she finished, she’s Dana, but it was hard. She did not feel good. Once she had her wits about her, I was very clear “never again. This is stupid. This is the waste of your talents.”

What are you trying to prove people? Instead of training for a marathon, volunteer! Volunteer here or do something to better the world. There are better ways to spend your time. TRAIN your mind. TRAIN others. Not your body to do something freaking dumb and selfish.

And here I am in a fucking marathon.

I don’t think I’ve ever told you about the road ahead…or maybe I have and I’ve forgotten.

Equally plausible at this point.

We have 7 total rounds of high dosage chemo, surgery, and immunotherapy. And possibly more. We don’t really know.

What is a round of chemo you ask? It is when you have 4 days of drugs that kill everything bad AND good in your body for four days. Then your body slowly begins to shut down. You get sick as the chemo eats the tumor and cancer cells. Eats it. But with it other good cells.  You will need blood transfusions, platelets, minerals, pretty much everything that makes you tick. To do this you will most likely need to be hospitalized (as Jacob has) as you have zero ability to fight anything, no white blood cells in your body. Zero and it lasts for days. You will be on antibiotics fighting for your body that is defenseless.

They will at some point inject you to stimulate your bone marrow to make white blood cells, they wait to you are at a certain number, and then they KNOCK you down again.

We will do this 7 times. 

Numbers 1, 2, 4 and 6 are the same cocktail. 5 & 7 are different. Side effects change each round, but include everything from incredible pain, nausea, unwillingness to eat, to sores all over your GI tract that can make you never want to eat or poop again. Even with the same cocktail, you can have different side effects because each time your body does chemo it’s a bit weaker. 


Between rounds 3 & 4 is surgery where they will remove the tumor. The originator. The source. This is a big.

Then you do chemo again (2 more round) and then you start immunotherapy. Wish I could tell you about that, but I have no idea. I can’t think that far, but I know Steve has. Immunotherapy is another couple of months.  

So we have about a year and change in front of us. 

It’s a freaking marathon and I’m on mile one, but the trauma makes it feel like mile 21 and I feel like I’m running that mile over and over. 

And I hate running. 

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