I see what you’ve been up to Friends of Nightwing. I see it and it delights me to the core. 

Just prior to this journey, I was talking to a teacher friend of mine. She was leaving the classroom, because it won’t allow her to be a mother. That giving all of yourself to other people’s children is cheating your own. I did see her point.  It’s just an impossible profession. You are spent by the end of the day. You’ve been dealing with kids all day and the you walk home to what? MORE KIDS. I get it. There is no more EXHAUSTING choice in work. There is no checking email, heck you don’t have a desk. There are no flexible hours to run out and get an errand down (even for your own child), sometimes you have to schedule when you can pee. This profession ain’t no joke. Its tough work.

But she was wrong. 

I now understand that.

The more you give, the more you receive. 

I’m not the only one raising my own children. I haven’t been cheating them (and trust me this thought has entered my mind), I’m enriching him. I’m giving them 1,000’s of mommies and daddies. We are raising our kids together. I got yours, and now I understand… you got MINE.

I have SO much support. I’m swimming in support. Please don’t go away. This is only mile 1.

And you have been sneaky… I’ve recently learned of the go fund me page (friendsofnightwing.weebly.com). I thank you for this. I thank you for helping this hospital that does miracles everyday to continue its work. I thank you for curing Jacob.

Your donations go so much farther than Jacob. You are touching many lives. Many lives that feel alone. Many families that travel across the globe to be here and have no support. You are touching them too. Thank you.  

I am surrounded by children fighting for their lives. It’s really hard to make sense of. Why?!

I watch the other mothers shuffle around the floor. None of us speak, we nod at each other. There is no stopping and talking. We are all focused on what is right in front of us. Carrying the IV cords, talking to doctors and entertaining our children at the same time. None of us speak. I know none of their names. We all have 2 full time jobs.

I thought it would be otherwise and some blogs I read suggest otherwise. That there would be this big support club and we hold hands through this together. Sing kumbaya, but that’s just not the case. I’m not even sure how that could be the case. That just sounds impossible. 

We all are so busy. When I see all the other children (ages 8 months to 16 years) fighting this fight, all I can think about is statistics. I’ve always been a research informed educator. Before that was a thing even. I like to learn. I like numbers.

 We all want to be THE ones. We all want the stats on our side. We all only have enough energy and prayer for the OUR one.

This kills me. This is hard for me. I want to talk to help them all, but I can’t. I can only do my one.

But that’s where you came. You knew that didn’t you….

Sneaky.

Love you. Love each and everyone on of you.